Love is a VERB
originally featured in MK magazine February 2018
Whether it is all because of Hallmark or not…
February’s focus is Love. One of my favorite topics! It is deep and wide, so let’s take a look at one foundational aspect.
Love, who needs it?
Apparently, everyone needs love. As a matter of fact, love is essential for healthy human growth and development. Bruce D. Perry’s book, Born for Love, states that a high percentage of babies who aren’t given love in the form of positive physical touch will actually die and those that live through such sparse conditions wind up with mental illness at an alarming rate.
You can’t give something you don’t have.
Assuming you are a healthy adult reading this, there is no one whose job it is to take care of you now, but you. Even the airlines get this right in the instructions for the oxygen mask. I know, you’ve stopped listening to those flight attendants as they prattle on about the card in the seat back pocket, but putting on your oxygen mask first, making sure that your lungs have what they need, that your life is sustained, before helping others is key to the safety of all on board. The same is true for love. Loving yourself first is key because you can’t give something you don’t have. But how do you do this?
Getting to know you.
The ancient Greeks inscribed, “Know Thyself,” on the wall of the temple of Apollo, so this is not a new idea. Although even today, getting to know yourself is something many people never consider. While you are never actually apart from yourself, how well do really you know you? Reflect for a moment. (You can even approach this reflection time like a date with yourself. Pour yourself a cup of tea, light a candle, cozy up. Think about it, how can you love anyone who you don’t know, with whom you never spend any time?) If you had a whole day to yourself, to use how you chose, how would you spend it? Would you take a long bike ride? A hot bath? Paint? Create a gourmet meal? Write a list in the margin. Becoming clear about what nurtures you makes it easier to sprinkle these things into your daily life, creating a more nurturing relationship with yourself.
Love is a verb
Love in any relationship needs cultivating. Nurture the relationship with yourself by getting to know you, learn how you personally appreciate this experience of life most deeply. Take care of you, like you would a best friend. Consistently offer yourself love so that your coffers are full to overflowing. Love yourself first and you’ll have plenty to go around, and far beyond just the month of February.